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Topic: Someone better give me some answers!! (Read 3351 times) |
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nick
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Someone better give me some answers!!
« on: Nov 29th, 2004, 10:20pm » |
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I have so questions thet need some answers, help me im holiday, bored and just looking round the net at stuff to laugh at.
Questions
1) Is there another word for Thesaurus?
2) When a cow laughs does milk come up its nose?
3) When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
4) If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
6) Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special An event in London!s?
7) If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
 Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
9) Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
10) I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges?
that should do for starters
Nic
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Paul B
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'98 24V Ultima saloon
Posts: 2442
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #1 on: Nov 29th, 2004, 10:56pm » |
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Not sure I can help you Nick. 
Are you taking any medication? 
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Two hundred & seven horses and only one jockey!
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mr._floppy
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Posts: 100
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #2 on: Nov 30th, 2004, 4:22pm » |
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I'm thinking you've got too much time on your hands, but you can also ponder these-
If a dog's sense of smell is 1000 times as sensitive as a human's , how come it doesn't faint everytime it catches a whiff of its own fetid breath?
If bees are so smart , why does it take it 30 minutes of banging against the glass pane to work out that it can fly out the same window it got in ?
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craig
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #3 on: Nov 30th, 2004, 4:42pm » |
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why is abbreviation such a long word !!!!! 
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nick
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #4 on: Nov 30th, 2004, 6:10pm » |
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Insomina is a b****r
If nothing sticks to Teflon how do they stick Teflon to the pan?
If stores claim to be open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, why do they have locks on the doors?
Why do men have nipples?
Why do they sterilise needles for lethal injections?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Righ im off to lie down cos one question has got me done in
If the universe is expanding, why can't I find a parking space?
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Paul B
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Posts: 2442
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #5 on: Nov 30th, 2004, 6:32pm » |
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Did we ask yet "How does a snow plough driver get to work?" or "How does a Thermos know whether to keep a drink hot or cold?"
Back to the old drawing board on these I guess.
BUT.... before the invention of the drawing board, what did people go back to?? 
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Two hundred & seven horses and only one jockey!
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David_South_West
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24V............ .Goodness
Posts: 188
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #6 on: Nov 30th, 2004, 8:11pm » |
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If super glue is so good how do you get the top off.
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Baz
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S Reg. 1998 24v Cosworth S2.9 COS (Deceased)
Posts: 4009
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #7 on: Nov 30th, 2004, 8:41pm » |
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I've got a tube but the top is stuck on!!
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Eddie
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Must try a different shampoo!
Posts: 495
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #8 on: Dec 2nd, 2004, 6:34am » |
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Why do men have nipples?
Tell me you put the light out as well, go on! 
eddie
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john.n
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I love my cossie
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #9 on: Dec 2nd, 2004, 9:48am » |
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Keep going, ime enjoying this ! john.n
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JohnJ
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #10 on: Dec 2nd, 2004, 10:25am » |
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Go out and fix your cars!!!! Oh my god.
"Why do men have nipples?"
I heard this on the discovery channel
Apparently we all come into this world as ladys, the default is female and only after a few weeks the decision is made to add on a few bit and not use the other bits..something to do with the cromazones...probely spelt that wrong. or 
JJ
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mr._floppy
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Posts: 100
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #11 on: Dec 2nd, 2004, 6:36pm » |
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Liverpudlians ! what are they for ?
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craig
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #12 on: Dec 2nd, 2004, 7:37pm » |
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i feel a storm brewing
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waders
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #13 on: Dec 2nd, 2004, 11:23pm » |
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Hi Craig ,
I take it you are from the city of two birds then  !!
This probably means you can also take it on the chin !!
Give what you get in life I say !
Waders
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craig
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #14 on: Dec 3rd, 2004, 7:51am » |
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waders.... 
no..no..no..no..no..
somerset born and bred here,but i thought (through past experience ),anybody who mentions liverpool,will always upset somebody,and if they start mocking them,they dont take it to well,i always remember a couple of jokes aimed at liverpudlians......
clint eastwood is making a new western in liverpool,it's going to be called "a fistfull of giro's"
and
why was jusus not born in liverpool ?,
they coulden't find 3 wise men and a virgin..
..
but liverpudlians,i love em,cany understand em,but hey,now mentioning football ( ),thats different....
UP THE GUNNERS
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waders
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #15 on: Dec 3rd, 2004, 1:47pm » |
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Ah, I see!!
I was waiting for a flood of reply's from "up north" myself , still waiting, it will hapen i'm sure!!
I was going to make a joke about not leaving Liverpool with your wheels, but I think I'll keep it to myself, it's safer this way
Waders.
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nick
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #16 on: Dec 8th, 2004, 10:33am » |
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Right I can get access to the site so back with some new ones
Adam and Eve were the first people on earth............Did they have belly buttons?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
How could I have been doing 70 miles an hour when I've only been driving for 10 minutes?
If a man with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, would it be considered a hostage situation?
If corn oil comes from corn....where does baby oil come from?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
back to you,
Nic
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Vulcan
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #17 on: Dec 8th, 2004, 12:11pm » |
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Liverpool!!...in the North!!
pah.. midlands....
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waders
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #18 on: Dec 8th, 2004, 1:13pm » |
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Ok, the midlands
but most places in England ARE north of london
Waders
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waders
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Re: Someone better give me some answers!!
« Reply #19 on: Dec 8th, 2004, 1:21pm » |
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on Dec 3rd, 2004, 1:47pm, waders wrote:| I was waiting for a flood of reply's from "up north" myself , still waiting, it will hapen i'm sure!! |
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See, it's started
Waders
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