Author |
Topic: something for the weekend (Read 611 times) |
|
bertie
Guest
|
One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer at Asda. Just give it a urine sample and
the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and only costs five pounds.....a lot quicker and
better than a doctor".
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Asda.
He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds
later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heav activity. It will improve in two weeks".
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurried back to Asda, eager to check what would happen. He
deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3.Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better...
.......thank you for shopping at Asda.
|
|
 IP Logged |
|
|
|
SaveTheNight
Senior Member
I can resist anything ...except temptation !!
 
 
Posts: 1961
|
 |
Re: something for the weekend
« Reply #1 on: Feb 12th, 2005, 11:13pm » |
 Quote  Modify
|
brilliant !!
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Badboytunes
Guest
|
|
Re: something for the weekend
« Reply #2 on: Feb 13th, 2005, 12:20am » |
Quote Modify
 Remove
|
Bloody Hilarious 
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Login
Reply
Send Topic
Print