Author |
Topic: Old laws that still stand today (Read 648 times) |
|
Jonnycab
Senior Member
Former owner of 2.3 Ultima Facelift saloon
Posts: 3900
|
 |
Old laws that still stand today
« on: Jun 16th, 2006, 3:28am » |
 Quote  Modify
|
As a Hackney Carriage license holder I am still required to carry a bail of hay 
I can also pee on my nearside rear wheel in the street as long as I have one hand on the vehicle  
Another one that springs to mind is......If a pregnant woman needs to pee & can't find a public toilet that is open, then she can ask a policeman to take off his helmet so she can do a number one in it...... & by law the policeman has to oblige
Anyone else know any good'uns ?
|
|
 IP Logged |
|
|
|
bizzay1
Full Member
1997 Cosworth Saloon
Posts: 481
|
|
Re: Old laws that still stand today
« Reply #1 on: Jun 16th, 2006, 4:51am » |
Quote Modify
|
on Jun 16th, 2006, 3:28am, jonnycab wrote:Another one that springs to mind is......If a pregnant woman needs to pee & can't find a public toilet that is open, then she can ask a policeman to take off his helmet so she can do a number one in it...... & by law the policeman has to oblige
|
|
what about number twos hehehehehehehe
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Baw_Flinger
Full Member
Ex 2.3 owner..... Snif
Posts: 438
|
|
Re: Old laws that still stand today
« Reply #2 on: Jun 16th, 2006, 8:12am » |
Quote Modify
|
An Englishman is legaly allowed to shoot a Welshman with a longbow if on the other side of a river 
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
mazzy_j
Full Member
Posts: 664
|
|
Re: Old laws that still stand today
« Reply #3 on: Jun 16th, 2006, 8:23am » |
Quote Modify
|
Here's a few...
All English Men over 14 are meant to carry out 2 hours (or so) of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy.
London Hackney Carriages (taxis/cabs) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats.
It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises.
It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person.
Chelsea Pensioners may not be impersonated.
A bed may not be hung out of a window.
It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.
Throughout the whole of England it is illegal to eat mince pies on the 25th of December.
Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked manequin.
It is illegal to leave baggage unattended, and picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism.
Those wishing to use a television must apply for a license.
It is illegal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour.
It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.
Committing suicide is classified as a capital crime. (Repealed)
And specific areas of the country...
Chester
You can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.
Hereford
You can shoot a Welsh person all day, but only on Sunday, with a Longbow, in the Cathedral Close.
London
You are considered a freeman if you can drive your geese down Cheapside and to be hanged with silk rope (as opposed to plain old hemp).
Companies may vote in local elections.
York
Upon sight of a Scotsman, it is still legal to shoot him with a bow and arrow, except on Sundays.
Scotland
You may not fish on Sundays.
It is illegal to be a drunk in possession of a cow.
Trespassing on someone else's land is legal.
You are presumed guilty until proven innocent for some crimes.
If someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your commode, you must let them enter.
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Jonnycab
Senior Member
Former owner of 2.3 Ultima Facelift saloon
Posts: 3900
|
|
Re: Old laws that still stand today
« Reply #4 on: Jun 16th, 2006, 10:37am » |
Quote Modify
|
I'm not sure whether these are old laws, but they seem to be legal where I live anyway.....
A pikie can walk into any shop, pick up a load of stuff & walk out without paying.
A pikie can park his van all day on the double yellows & at the end of the day rip up all his parking tickets & chuck them in the bin.
Pikies are exempt from MOTs, road tax & insurance.
Pikies can steal your Transit van if they wish to.
A pikie can throw bricks at you if he sees you driving down his road/track.
A pikie can go to the front of the queue in any shop, but only as long as they intend to pay for the goods, if not see above.
Pikies can steal your expensive pedigree dog, but only for breeding purposes.
A load of drunk pikies can trash the local snooker club, but only if they have hired it for a special occasion.
Pikies are allowed to have a fight in the post office queue as long as they don't knock over any more than five pensioners.
Even though pikies don't have to pay tax & national insurance, they can:-
1) Phone the police any time they want & the police will be there pronto.
2) After having shot each other they can descend en-mass to the local hospital & intimidate all other patients, doctors & nurses until they are given preferential treatment.
3) They can also start a massive fight in casualty if they wish, but only amongst themselves.
4) They can demand their children be educated at the local primary school, force all the other local kids out, & then cause it to have the worsed truancy record in the country.
That's it for the moment, but I'm sure there are plenty more old 'pikie' laws.
 
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Spannerdemon
Guest
|
|
Re: Old laws that still stand today
« Reply #5 on: Jun 16th, 2006, 10:51am » |
Quote Modify
 Remove
|
That's BRILLIANT!!
Shame it's so true!
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
sector-9
Senior Member
No scorpio anymore
Posts: 1069
|
|
Re: Old laws that still stand today
« Reply #6 on: Jun 16th, 2006, 8:56pm » |
Quote Modify
|
I've seriously considered becoming a 'traveller' - problem is that I disagree with stealing, vandalism and littering. Looks like I'll just have to be s****** over in taxes then to punish my unacceptable moral standards... 
Darren
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Login
Reply
Send Topic
Print