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Topic: being british (Read 681 times) |
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craig
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stumbled across this,and thought i would give you guy's a look at it........ 
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? - Suspicion of anything foreign.
Oh and...
Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.
Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries
and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain .. do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
Scalextric cars.
and finally...
In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
toilet.
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TiberiuS
Senior Member
Ex. 1996 2.3 Ultima - RIP P789 KHJ
 
Posts: 2257
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Re: being british
« Reply #1 on: Oct 1st, 2006, 6:54pm » |
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on Oct 1st, 2006, 6:35pm, craig wrote:| 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. |
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lol, never? 
One to add to that list:
Only in Britian...Do blind people get a reduction in their television licence.
Apparently some of our friends from across the pond find that one very amusing
I'm sure there are some more to add, very funny though
Bruce.
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Bruce - '07 Jaguar XKR coupe, '95 Jaguar XJ Sport 4.0, '82 Ford Capri 2.0 Ghia, '15 Honda Civic (sloooooww..)
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scorpio_man
Administrator
Ford Kuga awd
Posts: 5654
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Re: being british
« Reply #2 on: Oct 1st, 2006, 7:43pm » |
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Dave
Senior Member
Tourmallard 24v (ex-owner)
Posts: 1984
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Re: being british
« Reply #3 on: Oct 1st, 2006, 7:43pm » |
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loving that last one lol
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Life after the Scorpio ain't easy..
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Baz
Moderator
Senior Member
S Reg. 1998 24v Cosworth S2.9 COS (Deceased)
Posts: 4009
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Re: being british
« Reply #4 on: Oct 1st, 2006, 11:32pm » |
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Being British unfortunately means call centres in India (I have a friend who flattly refuses to talk to "Kevin" or whatever name they use and says things like "I can't understand a word you are saying mate.... anyone there speak proper English!")
It means stupid laws like the latest one about age discrimination (I was thinking about employing someone who is 75 and getting him/her up the top of a scaffold 50 times a day and see how long they last!!)
It means bowing a scraping to anyone who arrives here with a sob story and no passport even if that means bypassing our own people to provide for them
Being British now means we are the laughing stock of Europe and the world....
Things have got to change.........................surely?
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Jonnycab
Senior Member
Former owner of 2.3 Ultima Facelift saloon
Posts: 3900
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Re: being british
« Reply #5 on: Oct 2nd, 2006, 12:05am » |
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Also being British means that it takes forever to get a council house, because as soon as you reach the top of the list some immigrant pips you to the post 
Did something very British today.........Had a nice bit of roast bullie, with yorkie puds & roast tatties.....yum.....lovely.......beats curry anyday
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Kjetil S
Senior Member
2001 BMW 520iat
Posts: 1419
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Re: being british
« Reply #6 on: Oct 2nd, 2006, 5:10am » |
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on Oct 1st, 2006, 6:35pm, craig wrote:
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? - Suspicion of anything foreign.
Oh and...
Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.
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Those two goes for Norway as well
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http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Norway
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taliban aka Cheekyboy2
Senior Member
I'm a YaBB newbie!
Posts: 1552
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Re: being british
« Reply #7 on: Oct 2nd, 2006, 9:20pm » |
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that is actually quite an old e mail that went around, very true as well, gives a reasonable description of daily mail readers thought patterns lol.
must confess i dont recognise 'british/britain', unless its a time of need i.e. war, but i do recognise england scotland and wales.
personal choice but give me 'foreign' food over a roast any day, hate roasts, except the tatties n snips.
can someone please explain what the problem is with foreign call centres? feel like im missing the point, personally i dont care if i speak to someone in birmingham or bangalore, as long as the call charge is the same and my query gets answered, to me thats what counts.
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LiverpaulH
Full Member
My bird!
Posts: 423
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Re: being british
« Reply #8 on: Oct 3rd, 2006, 1:07pm » |
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I find the problem with the call centres is their understanding of what you say or ask, if the query doesn't match one on the script they are unable to help......it's just so frustrating waiting to speak to someone who can actually deal with your query. In some cases I really do struggle to understand what they are saying due to their accent. I personally will buy a product or subscribe to a service, or use a bank/building society with british help desks over and above those with call centres abroad even if it costs me a bit more.
Paul
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r33per
Junior Member
1998 S Reg 2.3 Ultima Saloon
Posts: 72
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Re: being british
« Reply #9 on: Oct 3rd, 2006, 4:06pm » |
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on Oct 1st, 2006, 6:54pm, TiberiuS wrote:
Only in Britian...Do blind people get a reduction in their television licence. |
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My mate got his driving license application form returned to him because he forgot to fill in the "Are you blind" question...
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taliban aka Cheekyboy2
Senior Member
I'm a YaBB newbie!
Posts: 1552
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Re: being british
« Reply #10 on: Oct 3rd, 2006, 7:52pm » |
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cheers for clearing that paul, i often wondered why people kept going on about overseas call centres, i've only delt with them a couple of times over the last 3 years and had no probs, but it was minor queries, as for accents or rather understanding them, i live and work in london dealing with joe public, so i spose i hear around 20 accents a day, so im probably used to them.....
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