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Topic: ponderisms... (Read 484 times) |
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craig
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Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat
the next thing that comes out of its butt."
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
about seeing UFOs like they used to?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people
die of natural causes.
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
of nothing.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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Spannerdemon
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Excellent, and a great read. Thanks for sharing it. 
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macroy
Full Member
White 24v Ultima Cosworth Estate
Posts: 207
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Re: ponderisms...
« Reply #2 on: Feb 21st, 2007, 12:41pm » |
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Makes me think I don,t know what to think!  Roy.
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big_neil
Full Member
I'm a YaBB newbie!
Posts: 389
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Re: ponderisms...
« Reply #3 on: Feb 21st, 2007, 4:31pm » |
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another one i can,t get my head round,,,,why do gearsticks have an R on them and not a B for backwards??
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Jonnycab
Senior Member
Former owner of 2.3 Ultima Facelift saloon
Posts: 3900
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Re: ponderisms...
« Reply #4 on: Feb 23rd, 2007, 2:09am » |
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Saw a program on TV yesterday about a woman who gave up her office job & moved to the Costa Del Sol to start a spray tanning business 
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macroy
Full Member
White 24v Ultima Cosworth Estate
Posts: 207
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Re: ponderisms...
« Reply #5 on: Feb 23rd, 2007, 2:03pm » |
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Did you see how long it took her to erect her portable spray booth,she got one side in and the other side popped out,it really creased me up. She ended up getting one that she just unfolded and it sprung up into shape,she looked really proud of her engineering talents when this thing flew up. Roy.
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