Thought you might like to read this.... 
Very proud to be British Because...
Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.
or a police car or a council workman or a police car or a council workman or a police car or a council workman or a police car or a council workman or a police car or a council workman or a police car or a council workman or a police car or a council workman or a police car or a council workman or a police car or a council workman or a police car or a council workman or a police car or a council workman or a police car or a council workman or a police car or a council workman or a police car or a council workman
Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the
way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while
healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Thats to keep the fag stinking mingers out of the shops as much as they can... Thats to keep the fag stinking mingers out of the shops as much as they can... Thats to keep the fag stinking mingers out of the shops as much as they can... Thats to keep the fag stinking mingers out of the shops as much as they can... Thats to keep the fag stinking mingers out of the shops as much as they can... Thats to keep the fag stinking mingers out of the shops as much as they can... Thats to keep the fag stinking mingers out of the shops as much as they can... Thats to keep the fag stinking mingers out of the shops as much as they can... Thats to keep the fag stinking mingers out of the shops as much as they can... Thats to keep the fag stinking mingers out of the shops as much as they can... Thats to keep the fag stinking mingers out of the shops as much as they can... Thats to keep the fag stinking mingers out of the shops as much as they can... Thats to keep the fag stinking mingers out of the shops as much as they can... Thats to keep the fag stinking mingers out of the shops as much as they can...
Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large
fries, and a DIET coke.
True, but a survey also suggested that when tested, most people preffered the taste of diet coke to normal anyway...but I always order a diet coke so I guess thats right! True, but a survey also suggested that when tested, most people preffered the taste of diet coke to normal anyway...but I always order a diet coke so I guess thats right! True, but a survey also suggested that when tested, most people preffered the taste of diet coke to normal anyway...but I always order a diet coke so I guess thats right! True, but a survey also suggested that when tested, most people preffered the taste of diet coke to normal anyway...but I always order a diet coke so I guess thats right! True, but a survey also suggested that when tested, most people preffered the taste of diet coke to normal anyway...but I always order a diet coke so I guess thats right! True, but a survey also suggested that when tested, most people preffered the taste of diet coke to normal anyway...but I always order a diet coke so I guess thats right! True, but a survey also suggested that when tested, most people preffered the taste of diet coke to normal anyway...but I always order a diet coke so I guess thats right! True, but a survey also suggested that when tested, most people preffered the taste of diet coke to normal anyway...but I always order a diet coke so I guess thats right! True, but a survey also suggested that when tested, most people preffered the taste of diet coke to normal anyway...but I always order a diet coke so I guess thats right! True, but a survey also suggested that when tested, most people preffered the taste of diet coke to normal anyway...but I always order a diet coke so I guess thats right! True, but a survey also suggested that when tested, most people preffered the taste of diet coke to normal anyway...but I always order a diet coke so I guess thats right! True, but a survey also suggested that when tested, most people preffered the taste of diet coke to normal anyway...but I always order a diet coke so I guess thats right! True, but a survey also suggested that when tested, most people preffered the taste of diet coke to normal anyway...but I always order a diet coke so I guess thats right! True, but a survey also suggested that when tested, most people preffered the taste of diet coke to normal anyway...but I always order a diet coke so I guess thats right!
Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
And the pens and calulators never work either! And the pens and calulators never work either! And the pens and calulators never work either! And the pens and calulators never work either! And the pens and calulators never work either! And the pens and calulators never work either! And the pens and calulators never work either! And the pens and calulators never work either! And the pens and calulators never work either! And the pens and calulators never work either! And the pens and calulators never work either! And the pens and calulators never work either! And the pens and calulators never work either! And the pens and calulators never work either!
Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
so are you calling my Classic Corsair junk?? so are you calling my Classic Corsair junk?? so are you calling my Classic Corsair junk?? so are you calling my Classic Corsair junk?? so are you calling my Classic Corsair junk?? so are you calling my Classic Corsair junk?? so are you calling my Classic Corsair junk?? so are you calling my Classic Corsair junk?? so are you calling my Classic Corsair junk?? so are you calling my Classic Corsair junk?? so are you calling my Classic Corsair junk?? so are you calling my Classic Corsair junk?? so are you calling my Classic Corsair junk?? so are you calling my Classic Corsair junk??
Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
only if it is the wife.... I'll answer any other call only if it is the wife.... I'll answer any other call only if it is the wife.... I'll answer any other call only if it is the wife.... I'll answer any other call only if it is the wife.... I'll answer any other call only if it is the wife.... I'll answer any other call only if it is the wife.... I'll answer any other call only if it is the wife.... I'll answer any other call only if it is the wife.... I'll answer any other call only if it is the wife.... I'll answer any other call only if it is the wife.... I'll answer any other call only if it is the wife.... I'll answer any other call only if it is the wife.... I'll answer any other call only if it is the wife.... I'll answer any other call
Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
Can you not get wheelchairs with blades?? Can you not get wheelchairs with blades?? Can you not get wheelchairs with blades?? Can you not get wheelchairs with blades?? Can you not get wheelchairs with blades?? Can you not get wheelchairs with blades?? Can you not get wheelchairs with blades?? Can you not get wheelchairs with blades?? Can you not get wheelchairs with blades?? Can you not get wheelchairs with blades?? Can you not get wheelchairs with blades?? Can you not get wheelchairs with blades?? Can you not get wheelchairs with blades?? Can you not get wheelchairs with blades??
NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
Done that.... not dead yet!! Done that.... not dead yet!! Done that.... not dead yet!! Done that.... not dead yet!! Done that.... not dead yet!! Done that.... not dead yet!! Done that.... not dead yet!! Done that.... not dead yet!! Done that.... not dead yet!! Done that.... not dead yet!! Done that.... not dead yet!! Done that.... not dead yet!! Done that.... not dead yet!! Done that.... not dead yet!!
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
143 actually, I never admitted to being that stupid at the time!! 143 actually, I never admitted to being that stupid at the time!! 143 actually, I never admitted to being that stupid at the time!! 143 actually, I never admitted to being that stupid at the time!! 143 actually, I never admitted to being that stupid at the time!! 143 actually, I never admitted to being that stupid at the time!! 143 actually, I never admitted to being that stupid at the time!! 143 actually, I never admitted to being that stupid at the time!! 143 actually, I never admitted to being that stupid at the time!! 143 actually, I never admitted to being that stupid at the time!! 143 actually, I never admitted to being that stupid at the time!! 143 actually, I never admitted to being that stupid at the time!! 143 actually, I never admitted to being that stupid at the time!! 143 actually, I never admitted to being that stupid at the time!!
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
Yep... done that too even though I have more tools than B&Q Yep... done that too even though I have more tools than B&Q Yep... done that too even though I have more tools than B&Q Yep... done that too even though I have more tools than B&Q Yep... done that too even though I have more tools than B&Q Yep... done that too even though I have more tools than B&Q Yep... done that too even though I have more tools than B&Q Yep... done that too even though I have more tools than B&Q Yep... done that too even though I have more tools than B&Q Yep... done that too even though I have more tools than B&Q Yep... done that too even though I have more tools than B&Q Yep... done that too even though I have more tools than B&Q Yep... done that too even though I have more tools than B&Q Yep... done that too even though I have more tools than B&Q
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
Done that but have low voltage lights...no deaths yet! Done that but have low voltage lights...no deaths yet! Done that but have low voltage lights...no deaths yet! Done that but have low voltage lights...no deaths yet! Done that but have low voltage lights...no deaths yet! Done that but have low voltage lights...no deaths yet! Done that but have low voltage lights...no deaths yet! Done that but have low voltage lights...no deaths yet! Done that but have low voltage lights...no deaths yet! Done that but have low voltage lights...no deaths yet! Done that but have low voltage lights...no deaths yet! Done that but have low voltage lights...no deaths yet! Done that but have low voltage lights...no deaths yet! Done that but have low voltage lights...no deaths yet!
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
Thats just daft Thats just daft Thats just daft Thats just daft Thats just daft Thats just daft Thats just daft Thats just daft Thats just daft Thats just daft Thats just daft Thats just daft Thats just daft Thats just daft
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
Won't happen in Iraq this year, the British nanny government have ordered that any crackers being sent to the troops for Christmas should be defused before they are packed as they are classed as explosives!! Won't happen in Iraq this year, the British nanny government have ordered that any crackers being sent to the troops for Christmas should be defused before they are packed as they are classed as explosives!! Won't happen in Iraq this year, the British nanny government have ordered that any crackers being sent to the troops for Christmas should be defused before they are packed as they are classed as explosives!! Won't happen in Iraq this year, the British nanny government have ordered that any crackers being sent to the troops for Christmas should be defused before they are packed as they are classed as explosives!! Won't happen in Iraq this year, the British nanny government have ordered that any crackers being sent to the troops for Christmas should be defused before they are packed as they are classed as explosives!! Won't happen in Iraq this year, the British nanny government have ordered that any crackers being sent to the troops for Christmas should be defused before they are packed as they are classed as explosives!! Won't happen in Iraq this year, the British nanny government have ordered that any crackers being sent to the troops for Christmas should be defused before they are packed as they are classed as explosives!! Won't happen in Iraq this year, the British nanny government have ordered that any crackers being sent to the troops for Christmas should be defused before they are packed as they are classed as explosives!! Won't happen in Iraq this year, the British nanny government have ordered that any crackers being sent to the troops for Christmas should be defused before they are packed as they are classed as explosives!! Won't happen in Iraq this year, the British nanny government have ordered that any crackers being sent to the troops for Christmas should be defused before they are packed as they are classed as explosives!! Won't happen in Iraq this year, the British nanny government have ordered that any crackers being sent to the troops for Christmas should be defused before they are packed as they are classed as explosives!! Won't happen in Iraq this year, the British nanny government have ordered that any crackers being sent to the troops for Christmas should be defused before they are packed as they are classed as explosives!! Won't happen in Iraq this year, the British nanny government have ordered that any crackers being sent to the troops for Christmas should be defused before they are packed as they are classed as explosives!! Won't happen in Iraq this year, the British nanny government have ordered that any crackers being sent to the troops for Christmas should be defused before they are packed as they are classed as explosives!!
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
Stood on a few but no punctures.... yet! Stood on a few but no punctures.... yet! Stood on a few but no punctures.... yet! Stood on a few but no punctures.... yet! Stood on a few but no punctures.... yet! Stood on a few but no punctures.... yet! Stood on a few but no punctures.... yet! Stood on a few but no punctures.... yet! Stood on a few but no punctures.... yet! Stood on a few but no punctures.... yet! Stood on a few but no punctures.... yet! Stood on a few but no punctures.... yet! Stood on a few but no punctures.... yet! Stood on a few but no punctures.... yet!
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
When I smoked I was always doing that! When I smoked I was always doing that! When I smoked I was always doing that! When I smoked I was always doing that! When I smoked I was always doing that! When I smoked I was always doing that! When I smoked I was always doing that! When I smoked I was always doing that! When I smoked I was always doing that! When I smoked I was always doing that! When I smoked I was always doing that! When I smoked I was always doing that! When I smoked I was always doing that! When I smoked I was always doing that!
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
My mate does a good trick of opening a beer bottle with his eye! My mate does a good trick of opening a beer bottle with his eye! My mate does a good trick of opening a beer bottle with his eye! My mate does a good trick of opening a beer bottle with his eye! My mate does a good trick of opening a beer bottle with his eye! My mate does a good trick of opening a beer bottle with his eye! My mate does a good trick of opening a beer bottle with his eye! My mate does a good trick of opening a beer bottle with his eye! My mate does a good trick of opening a beer bottle with his eye! My mate does a good trick of opening a beer bottle with his eye! My mate does a good trick of opening a beer bottle with his eye! My mate does a good trick of opening a beer bottle with his eye! My mate does a good trick of opening a beer bottle with his eye! My mate does a good trick of opening a beer bottle with his eye!
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.
bet they were teenagers driving the Nova track cars! bet they were teenagers driving the Nova track cars! bet they were teenagers driving the Nova track cars! bet they were teenagers driving the Nova track cars! bet they were teenagers driving the Nova track cars! bet they were teenagers driving the Nova track cars! bet they were teenagers driving the Nova track cars! bet they were teenagers driving the Nova track cars! bet they were teenagers driving the Nova track cars! bet they were teenagers driving the Nova track cars! bet they were teenagers driving the Nova track cars! bet they were teenagers driving the Nova track cars! bet they were teenagers driving the Nova track cars! bet they were teenagers driving the Nova track cars!
and finally.........
In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
I have bumped heads with the loo many a time in a drunken stupor.... not sure when and wherre though, I was too drunk to remember them details! I have bumped heads with the loo many a time in a drunken stupor.... not sure when and wherre though, I was too drunk to remember them details! I have bumped heads with the loo many a time in a drunken stupor.... not sure when and wherre though, I was too drunk to remember them details! I have bumped heads with the loo many a time in a drunken stupor.... not sure when and wherre though, I was too drunk to remember them details! I have bumped heads with the loo many a time in a drunken stupor.... not sure when and wherre though, I was too drunk to remember them details! I have bumped heads with the loo many a time in a drunken stupor.... not sure when and wherre though, I was too drunk to remember them details! I have bumped heads with the loo many a time in a drunken stupor.... not sure when and wherre though, I was too drunk to remember them details! I have bumped heads with the loo many a time in a drunken stupor.... not sure when and wherre though, I was too drunk to remember them details! I have bumped heads with the loo many a time in a drunken stupor.... not sure when and wherre though, I was too drunk to remember them details! I have bumped heads with the loo many a time in a drunken stupor.... not sure when and wherre though, I was too drunk to remember them details! I have bumped heads with the loo many a time in a drunken stupor.... not sure when and wherre though, I was too drunk to remember them details! I have bumped heads with the loo many a time in a drunken stupor.... not sure when and wherre though, I was too drunk to remember them details! I have bumped heads with the loo many a time in a drunken stupor.... not sure when and wherre though, I was too drunk to remember them details! I have bumped heads with the loo many a time in a drunken stupor.... not sure when and wherre though, I was too drunk to remember them details!
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), german engineering was too precise with low tolerance levels and high levels of complication, their engines wouldnt work. whereas the russian engines were much more basic with vast ranges of tolerance letting them fire up with no real problem. 
