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Topic: GM v MS (Read 672 times) |
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pete from Hull
Senior Member
Non Scorpio at the moment, but still interested...
 
Posts: 1365
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AT A COMPUTER expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the car industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating, "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they painted new lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNET," but then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but it would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "general protection fault" warning light.
8. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.
9. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the antenna.
10. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 percent or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
11. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
12. You'd have to press the "start" button to turn the engine off!
Number 12 is also aplicable to my My BMW
Hope you enjoyed this 
Pete
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Bring back fair wages.........
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lube-o-rific
Full Member
1995 2.9 12v Ultima Saloon
  
Posts: 104
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Re: GM v MS
« Reply #1 on: Nov 13th, 2008, 8:35am » |
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Very good, it seems like the lads at GM have the right idea about witty retorts! 
One of the problems that has held back major progression in the car industry, is the fact that we all reply on oil. Oil is one of those commodities that is very hard to get rid of because of all the revenue it generates for so many people across the globe.
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rich1
Full Member
london cabbies have the knowledge!!
Posts: 747
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Re: GM v MS
« Reply #2 on: Nov 13th, 2008, 8:47pm » |
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very funny , but probably very true
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