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Topic: A Rabits Tail (Read 160 times) |
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pete from Hull
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Non Scorpio at the moment, but still interested...
 
Posts: 1365
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A Rabits Tail
« on: Feb 4th, 2009, 10:53pm » |
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A 22 carrot tale
A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?'. The barman is amazed but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie, he then leaves.
The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub (because word gets round) gives the rabbit the pint and the toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.
The next night, the pub is packed, in walks the rabbit and says 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman'. The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down.
The next night there is standing room only in the pub, coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending, the barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year. In walks the rabbit and says, 'A Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman', smiling and accepting the tributes of the masses. The barman says, 'I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties'.
The rabbit looks aghast, the crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, 'We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie'. The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, 'Are you sure I will like it?' The masses bated breath is ear shatteringly silent. The barman, with a roguish smile says 'Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends, I know you'll love it'. 'Ok' says the rabbit,' I'll have a Pint of Beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie'. The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie, he then waves to the crowd and leaves....
......NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!
One year later in the now impoverished public house, the barman (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his) calls time. When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar. The barman says, 'Who are you' To which he is answered, 'I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house'. The barman says, 'I remember you, you made me famous, you would come in every night and have a Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, masses came to see you and this place was famous' The rabbit says, 'Yes I know'. The barman said, 'I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and Cheese Toasties, you had a Cheese and Onion one instead' The rabbit said 'Yes, you promised me that I would love it'. The barman said 'You never came back, what happened?'
'I DIED', said the Rabbit.
'NO!' said the barman,'what from'.
After a short pause. The rabbit said...
'Mixin'-me-toasties'
pete
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Bring back fair wages.........
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gozz
Senior Member
Been around awhile
Posts: 3475
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Re: A Rabits Tail
« Reply #1 on: Feb 4th, 2009, 11:09pm » |
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Blimey Pete,you get no better 
I suppose you must have heard about the duck who waddled up to the pub every lunch time from a nearby building site.The first time he went in the landlord was amazed that he could speak,asking for a pint of bitter.After a few days he said to the duck"you should go down the road to the circus,they would really appreciate your services in that big tent"the duck replied"why would they want a plumber in there?.
GOZZ.
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Jonnycab
Senior Member
Former owner of 2.3 Ultima Facelift saloon
Posts: 3900
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Re: A Rabits Tail
« Reply #2 on: Feb 5th, 2009, 4:30am » |
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That was a longen Pete 
Just a shorty from me, but in a similar vane.....
A bloke walks into a pub, goes up to the bar & orders a drink. He then turns to a regular who's sitting at the bar with an Alsation sitting at his feet & asks........"does your dog bite ?"
"No" replies the the regular
The bloke leans down to stroke the dog & the dog bites his hand.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite" the bloke said...
"That's not my dog" replied the regular....... 
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pete from Hull
Senior Member
Non Scorpio at the moment, but still interested...
Posts: 1365
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Re: A Rabits Tail
« Reply #3 on: Feb 5th, 2009, 6:57am » |
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 with Gozz..... 
Pete
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Bring back fair wages.........
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Scorpio_Mike
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Jeep Grand Cherokee 3.0 V6 & 2.8 Sierra XR4i 4x4
Posts: 2354
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Re: A Rabits Tail
« Reply #4 on: Feb 5th, 2009, 10:09am » |
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OK, my turn
A duck walks into a bar and says to the barman 'Got any bread ?'
The barman replies 'No !' and the duck walks out again.
Same thing happens every day for the next couple of weeks, by which time the barman is getting a bit fed up with the duck.
Next time the duck walks in and asks if the barman has any bread to which the barman replies 'No, and if you come in here again asking if we have any bread I'm gonna nail your beak to the bar !' The duck walks out again.
Next day the duck walks in again and asks the barman 'Got any nails ?'
The barman replies 'No !'
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The duck says 'Got any bread ?'
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Star sign is Scorpio !
Sierra XR4i's are great...especially when fitted with 4WD 
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Jonnycab
Senior Member
Former owner of 2.3 Ultima Facelift saloon
Posts: 3900
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Re: A Rabits Tail
« Reply #5 on: Feb 5th, 2009, 1:05pm » |
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A snail goes into a pub & orders a pint. The landlord takes one look at him & replies "get off my bar you slimy disgusting creature", then picks the snail up, goes to the door & throws the snail as far away as he can.
A year later the same snail comes into the pub & says to the landlord...."Why did you do that !!"
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