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Topic: Men and Women (Read 686 times) |
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Highlander
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13 Scorpios, XR4x4, Suzuki SJ413 for off road :)
 
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Men and Women
« on: May 20th, 2011, 1:09pm » |
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One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.... but at least she knows I'm smarter than her. 
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on Oct 17th, 2011, 12:35pm, Simmo wrote:I give up !  Too much for an old boy!  |
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PJDavis
Senior Member
2 x 1995 Jag X300 3.2 / 4.0 (Henley) 1957 XK140
Posts: 1474
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Re: Men and Women
« Reply #1 on: May 20th, 2011, 2:04pm » |
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Now that is one I haven't heard....Very Good!!!
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I love 'Movvy'
1995 Jaguar XJ6 X300 3.2 (Henley)
1995 Jaguar XJ6 X330 4.0 (Dopey)
1957 Jaguar XK140 USA (converted to RHD, and to have fitted Mk10 420G Engine with BW 65 Auto Trans)
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L6ENY
Full Member
I'm a YaBB newbie!
Posts: 154
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Re: Men and Women
« Reply #2 on: May 20th, 2011, 3:04pm » |
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Mike H
Senior Member
Renault Clio
Posts: 2594
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Re: Men and Women
« Reply #3 on: May 20th, 2011, 4:28pm » |
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Quote:She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck
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Must try to remember that one!
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Mike H
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tonyboy
Full Member
black2.924Vcoss ( No More )
  
Posts: 998
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Re: Men and Women
« Reply #4 on: May 20th, 2011, 11:31pm » |
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If that was me i would have used her credit card without her realising....... So she knows what it feels like when she has to satisfy her own desires..........
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I think i'm going, erm what do you call it..... Senial....
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