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Title: Jokes Post by jonnycab on May 29th, 2006, 1:23am What do you call a Frenchman in sandals?.....Phillipe Phillop. A bloke walking in the park notices a drunk sitting on a bench drinking brake fluid. He runs over & says "you can't drink that, it'll kill you !"...the drunk replies..."don't worry about me, I can stop any time I want!!". Knock..Knock....Who's there....Bigish....Bigish-who....not today thanks ;D |
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Title: Re: Jokes Post by monghad on May 29th, 2006, 2:21pm ;D ::) |
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Title: Re: Jokes Post by cossie_al on May 30th, 2006, 11:12pm lol |
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Title: Re: Jokes Post by jonnycab on May 31st, 2006, 12:00am A bloke walks into a pub & goes up to the bar. Whilst waiting to be served he notices a drunk sitting at the bar with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite" the bloke asks "No" the drunk replies So he bends down to stroke the dog & it bites him. "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite" The drunk replies "Thats not my dog". |
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Title: Re: Jokes Post by Kjetil S on May 31st, 2006, 12:05am }{ |
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Title: Re: Jokes Post by jonnycab on May 31st, 2006, 1:29am A keen golfer is asked by his wife if she can come along & have a round. He is a bit hesitant, but eventually agrees. On her first shot she hits the ball sideways & it goes straight through the window of a house. The husband says "Now look what you've done....I'm going to have to go over & pay for the damage" They walk over to the house & knock.......there is no answer........so they push the door & it opens.... They walk into the front room & see the golf ball on the floor, a smashed vase, & a funny dressed man sitting in an armchair. "I'm really sorry about the vase" the golfer says " we will pay for any damage". " That's okay" says the man " you've done me a big favour...I'm a Genie & i've been stuck in that vase for a thousand years....& you've let me free. I can now grant you two wishes & grant myself a wish". " What do you wish for?" asks the genie. The golfer says "I'd like a brand new Aston Martin" The genie waves his hand & says " It is waiting in the car park for you". The wife says " I'd like a six bedroom house with an inside swimming pool" The genie waves his hand & says " Your new Aston Martin will drive you to your new home" "Great" says the golfer..."but what is your wish genie?" "Well... I've been in that vase for a thousand years, so obviously I havn't seen a woman for a thousand years & I'm getting pretty desperate , your wife looks pretty hot....what about it? just ten minutes!! The golfer & his wife look at each other & agree that the genie has given them all they ever wanted & quick shag wouldn't be to bad.... "Okay" says the golfer. The genie takes the wife upstairs & has his wicked way with her for two hours. After they have finished & the wife is completely exhausted the genie asks the wife, " how old are you & your husband ?" "I'm 35 & my husband is 36" "what....& you still believe in Genies?".......... |
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Title: Re: Jokes Post by Kjetil S on May 31st, 2006, 1:31am }{}{}{}{}{}{ |
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Title: Re: Jokes Post by Octavian_P on May 31st, 2006, 7:24pm }{ }{ }{ |
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Title: Re: Jokes Post by jonnycab on Aug 20th, 2006, 1:35am Two dyslexic's in a car.......one says to the other....... "Can you smell petrol" "Smell petrol..!!!....I can't even smell my own name" ;D |
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