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Title: British? Post by peteHull on Dec 12th, 2007, 4:07pm Thought you might like to read this.... ;D Very proud to be British Because... Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke. Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters. Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage. Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink. NOT TO MENTION... 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts. 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers. 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in. 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate. British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents. 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet. 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth. A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth. 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars. and finally......... In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet. RULE BRITANNIA!! Pete ??? |
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Title: Re: British? Post by Baz on Dec 12th, 2007, 4:31pm on 12/12/07 at 16:07:51, peteHull wrote:
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Title: Re: British? Post by pappa on Dec 21st, 2007, 10:30am Heyyy... don't you British take all the credit for the above! ;D I believe we are quite capable of doing all those things in Finland too. Although, you might want to add alcohol related murders, alcohol related drownings and DUI into the list... :-/ |
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Title: Re: British? Post by Kjetil S on Dec 21st, 2007, 11:25am An old one, but almost true ;D Temperatures in the world and Norway +15°C / 59°F This is as warm as it gets in Norway, so we'll start here. People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves. The Norwegians are out in the sun, getting a tan. +10°C / 50°F The French are trying in vain to start their central heating. The Norwegians plant flowers in their gardens. +5°C / 41°F Italian cars won't start. The Norwegians are cruising in cabriolets. 0°C / 32°F Distilled water freezes. The water in Oslo Fjord gets a little thicker. -5°C / 23°F People in California almost freeze to death. The Norwegians have their final barbecue before winter. -10°C / 14°F The Brits start the heat in their houses. The Norwegians start using long sleeves. -20°C / -4°F The Aussies flee from Mallorca. The Norwegians end their Midsummer celebrations. Autumn is here. -30°C / -22°F People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth. The Norwegians start drying their laundry indoors. -40°C / -40°F Paris starts cracking in the cold. The Norwegians stand in line at the hotdog stands. -50°C / -58°F Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole. The Norwegians army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather. -70°C / -94°F The false Santa moves south. The Norwegians army goes out on winter survival training. -183°C / -297.4°F Microbes in food don't survive. The Norwegians cows complain that the farmers' hands are cold. -273°C / -459.4°F ALL atom-based movement halts. The Norwegians start saying, "Faen, d e kaldt i dag." -300°C / -508°F Hell freezes over; Norway wins the Eurovision Song Contest. |
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Title: Re: British? Post by pappa on Dec 21st, 2007, 11:45am Ha! Hey! You stole that from us Fins! ;D Talking about getting a bit frostbitten, back in the 26.1.1999 We got -51C in Lapland. Norway got down to -50C the same day (if the data I found is correct) We went gross country skiing that day. In a T-shirt. Pretty nice. ( think NOT! ) ;D |
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Title: Re: British? Post by Kjetil S on Dec 21st, 2007, 1:08pm on 12/21/07 at 11:45:12, pappa wrote:
Probably :) on 12/21/07 at 11:45:12, pappa wrote:
Sounds slightly chilly ;D Coldest I've experienced is -41C. |
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Title: Re: British? Post by taliban aka Cheekyboy2 on Dec 21st, 2007, 5:35pm one of the reasons why the nazi's (not often mentioned) failed on the eastern front was due to 'vorsprung durch technik' (if my understanding of the translation is correct ::)), german engineering was too precise with low tolerance levels and high levels of complication, their engines wouldnt work. whereas the russian engines were much more basic with vast ranges of tolerance letting them fire up with no real problem. similar robust basic technology was used in the design of the AK47, making them easy to dismantle and clean and reliable.... |
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Title: Re: British? Post by taliban aka Cheekyboy2 on Dec 21st, 2007, 5:37pm what was that? -51!!!!! |
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Title: Re: British? Post by Scorpio_Mike on Dec 21st, 2007, 9:03pm These were sent to me by friends from Canada and Florida, thought I'd share them... Canadian weather : 20 degrees Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear. People in Canada go swimming in the Lakes. 15 degrees North Carolinians try to turn on the heat. People in Canada plant gardens. 10 degrees Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Canada sunbathe. 5 degrees Italian & English cars won't start. People in Canada drive with the windows down. 0 degrees Distilled water freezes. Lake Superior's water gets thicker. -5 degrees Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly hats. People in Canada throw on a flannel shirt. -10 degrees Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Canada have the last cookout before it gets cold. -20 degrees People in Miami all die. Canadians lick the flagpole. -30 degrees Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Canada get out their winter coats. -40 degrees Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Canada are selling cookies door to door. -50 degrees Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough. -70 degrees Mount St. Helens freezes. People in Canada rent some videos. - 100 degrees Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg. -150 degrees Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products. Cows in Canada complain about farmers with cold hands. -273 degrees ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale). People in Canada start saying, "Eh, Cold 'nuff for ya?" -500 degrees Hell freezes over. The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup of Ice Hockey. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Floridian weather : You know you are in FLORIDA during the summertime when: The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water now comes out of both taps. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly. You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car. You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window. You actually burn your hand opening the car door. You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?" You realize that asphalt has a liquid state. The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add > butter, salt, and pepper. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs. The cows are giving evaporated milk. The trees are whistling for the dogs. |
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Title: Re: British? Post by pappa on Dec 22nd, 2007, 12:05pm on 12/21/07 at 17:37:38, taliban aka Cheekyboy2 wrote:
-51.5° C to be exact. Unfortunately I could not find it in English anywhere, but if you look it up with Google you can find something like this: http://www.angelfire.com/ma/maxcrc/temp.html Find Finland on that page. Brrr.... |
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Title: Re: British? Post by taliban aka Cheekyboy2 on Dec 22nd, 2007, 12:21pm omg! was reading that you cant use mercury thermometers as the mecury freezes at -38.5! cant picture in my head how cold -51 must be..... |
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