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        General >> Off Topic Subjects >> Men and Women
        
(Message started by: Highlander on May 20^th, 2011, 1:09pm)

Title: Men and Women
Post by Highlander on May 20^th, 2011, 1:09pm

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.... but at least she knows I'm smarter than her. ;D

Title: Re: Men and Women
Post by PJDavis on May 20^th, 2011, 2:04pm

Now that is one I haven't heard....Very Good!!!

Title: Re: Men and Women
Post by L6ENY on May 20^th, 2011, 3:04pm

;D ;D

Title: Re: Men and Women
Post by Mike H on May 20^th, 2011, 4:28pm

;D http://livinginthepast-audioweb.co.uk/images/misc/th_thumbsup.gif

Quote:

She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck

Must try to remember that one!

Title: Re: Men and Women
Post by tonyboy on May 20^th, 2011, 11:31pm

If that was me i would have used her credit card without her realising....... So she knows what it feels like when she has to satisfy her own desires..........